Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
