okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
