got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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