Sponge bath it is.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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