There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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