Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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