We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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