Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you never un-have a 4some
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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