last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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