i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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