Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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