two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
