am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize