You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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