can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Houston, we have a squirter
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
