You work out of a Hotel?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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