I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i think i just lost a toe
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
