My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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