Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
