Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
