It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
