I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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