Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
