Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
