I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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