what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
