My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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