The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
