ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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