He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im holly from the hills drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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