Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
