Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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