id be glad to
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!