i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
