just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
