Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
