It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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