was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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