I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize