and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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