and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
