She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
