Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
