In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't put those talents on a resume
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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