It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
