Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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