The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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