I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
