Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
