I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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