Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
