eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
