Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You pole danced in your parka.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
