It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
