Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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