I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
