I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
