WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
