dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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