Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize