Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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